I Attempted London's New Year's Day Parade and Discovered I Have No Interests
A personal journey into the void
Bohiney Magazine | The London PratDear Diary, I spent the afternoon attempting to engage with London's New Year's Day Parade, which was supposed to be fulfilling. Instead, I discovered I have no actual interests.The Expectation vs RealityI'd been told London's New Year's Day Parade was essential, important, enriching. So I tried it. And discovered that my capacity for genuine enjoyment might be approximately zero.The official guidance suggested I was doing it wrong. So I tried again with the correct approach, which was equally joyless.The Philosophical EmptinessWhat I learned is that enthusiasm is apparently something people have naturally, while I experience it as a performance. I understand intellectually that London's New Year's Day Parade is worthwhile. I feel nothing.This isn't depression—it's just a flat emotional landscape where everything is approximately equivalent in interest level. A really good meal, a walk, watching Netflix, staring at a wall—all equally unmemorable.The Comfort of NumbnessExcept there's something peaceful about this. If nothing is particularly good, then nothing is particularly bad. I'm immune to disappointment because I expect nothing to be satisfying anyway.Other people describe the emotional texture of life. I describe the void's texture. Which is to say, no texture at all.Maybe I'll try London's New Year's Day Parade again tomorrow. Or not. It's all the same.SOURCE: https://prat.uk/londons-new-years-day-parade/